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The Apologist, Jay Rayner
Atlantic Books
Reviewed by John Whelan (Courtesy of Taranaki Daily News)

Small little hardback. Tasteful cover showing a man holding a bunch of flowers. The title says it all. Or does it?

This novel is about the life of Marc Basset, a newspaper restaurant critic who as well as being witty and oh, so clever, is a real vindictive bastard. His reviews can make or break a restaurant. And for one owner that's exactly what happened. The review following the opening of his new venture was so damning that he killed himself.

Faced with the reality of what he has just done, Basset questions himself and his job and decides from that moment on to be nice to people. Unfortunately, following this road-to-Damascus-like conversion to a better way of life, the book takes a turn for the worse.

Having apologised to the widow of the restaurant owner he experiences an immense feeling of relief. It feels good saying sorry.
In his previous life as a bastard the "s" word never passed his lips, from this moment it's never far from them. He tries apologising to someone else and gets more warm fuzzies.

On and on it goes, him hunting out people he has slighted then apologising profusely and tearfully to them. He delves further and further into his troubled past to find more people he can apologise to.

Naturally, after attempting to be a nice critic (an oxymoron if ever there was one) he gets fired from the newspaper. Oddly enough his change in behaviour gets noticed by the powers that be and he soon lands a job at the United Nations as their Chief Apologist.

Well, you would, wouldn't you? He gets whisked around the world apologising for a multitude of wrongs. Fame and fortune await.
The whole thing just gets sillier and sillier and less funny the longer it goes on. It tries too hard and the writing seems to scream out, "Listen to me, listen to me, this one's funny" as it attempts to surpass itself with ever increasing outlandishness.

The Apologist reads like a sort of extended joke and only works if you buy into the joke. In my case I didn't and found the whole thing an unrewarding experience. Sorry.